Why "Consistency" is a Neurotypical Myth (And Why You Need to Stop Chasing It)

If I had a pound for every time a client told me, "I just need to be more consistent," I would be retired on a private island by now.

It is the holy grail of the self-help world. We are told that "Success is consistency." We are sold the 5 AM clubs, the habit trackers, and the 90-day challenges. We are told that if we just did the same thing at the same time every single day, we would finally feel in control.

And for the neurodivergent woman, this advice isn't just unhelpful. It is a trap.

If you have spent your life buying planners you use for three days and then abandon, or starting "new life regimes" that collapse by Wednesday, you probably carry a heavy backpack of shame. You likely label yourself as "flaky," "lazy," or "disorganized."

I am here to take that backpack off your shoulders.

You aren't failing at consistency because you are broken. You are failing at consistency because you are trying to force a Cyclical Brain into a Linear World.

Solar Panels vs. Lightning Bolts

To understand why mainstream advice fails us, we have to look at energy production.

Neurotypical brains often operate like Solar Panels. They have a relatively steady, reliable input and output of energy. They wake up with a similar amount of battery each day. They can chip away at a project for 45 minutes every day for six months. For them, "slow and steady wins the race" is a biological fact.

Neurodivergent brains (ADHD/Autistic) do not work like this. We are Lightning Bolts.

* We operate in pulses.

* We have days of hyper-focus where we can do a week’s worth of work in four hours.

* We have days of "low power mode" where answering a single email feels like climbing Everest.

When a Lightning Bolt tries to act like a Solar Panel, two things happen:

1. We waste our high-energy days by holding back (trying to pace ourselves).

2. We shame ourselves on low-energy days for not "keeping up."

The result? A perpetual state of burnout and a belief that we are fundamentally flawed.

The Biology of the "Crash"

This isn't just a personality quirk; it's chemistry.

Neurodivergent brains deal with Dopamine Dysregulation.

Dopamine is the fuel for action. When it is high, we are unstoppable. When it is low, the engine literally won't start.

Furthermore, if you are a woman in your 30s or 40s, you are also navigating hormonal cycles (read my article on (The Second Puberty and Perimenopause here). Your estrogen—and therefore your brain function—fluctuates wildly throughout the month.

Asking a neurodivergent woman to perform identically on Day 14 of her cycle (Ovulation/High Energy) and Day 28 (Luteal/Low Energy) is biologically absurd. It is like expecting a strawberry plant to produce fruit in December just because it did in July.

A New Strategy: The "Pulse and Pause" Method

So, if we throw out "Consistency," what replaces it? How do we actually get things done?

We move to Reliability instead of Consistency.

Reliability means knowing you will get to the finish line, but accepting that the pace will change day to day. We call this the Pulse and Pause method.

1. Identify Your "High-Pulse" Signs

When the lightning strikes (hyper-focus), ride it. (Read my article on Strategic Hyperfocus here)

If your brain is online and the dopamine is flowing, do the work. Write 4 blog posts. batch a month of content. Clean the whole house. Do not apologise for your intensity. This is your superpower.

2. Respect the "Pause" (The Low Power Mode)

Here is the hard part. When the energy drops, you must stop fighting it.

When you are in a "Pause" phase (or Autistic Inertia), your only goal is: Maintenance.

* Do not try to start new projects.

* Do the bare minimum to keep the lights on (feed the kids, answer urgent emails).

* Crucially: Do not use this time to bully yourself. If you spend your rest day feeling guilty, it is not rest. It is stress.

3. Create a "Minimum Viable Day" (MVD)

This is a game-changer for my clients.

Instead of having a "Perfect Morning Routine" that you fail at 50% of the time, create a Minimum Viable Routine.

* Ideal Day: Gym, Meditation, Green Juice, 4 hours of Deep Work.

* MVD: Drink water, put on clothes, answer 1 email.

On low-dopamine days, if you hit your MVD, you have succeeded. You get the dopamine tick. You stay in the game.

The Goal is Sustainability, Not "Same-ness"

You are allowed to be intense. You are allowed to be quiet. You are allowed to sprint, and you are allowed to hibernate.

The most successful neurodivergent women I know are not the ones who force themselves to march to a drumbeat. They are the ones who learned to surf their own waves.

Are you tired of fighting your own energy cycles?

If you feel like you are constantly swinging between "Superwoman" and "Shutdown," you don't need more discipline. You need a User Manual for your specific nervous system.

In my Life Re-Designed Consultancy, we map your personal energy patterns and build a lifestyle that works with your flow, not against it.

[Click here to protect your energy and apply for a Consultation.]