Dear fellow neurodivergent woman,
You know the moment. Someone asks you a perfectly reasonable question, like where the scissors are, and the whole room tips sideways.
Your patience is gone. Your skin is too loud. Every sound has edges. You say something you'd never say on a good day, and then you spend the next four hours drowning in shame.
Like the time I had to crouch on the roadside, hide behind a parked car with my eyes closed to get out of the sun and have some privacy.
We call that a meltdown, and often it is one. A world that's too bright, too fast and too full will do that to us.
But I've started to wonder how many of mine were something else wearing a meltdown's coat.
The meltdown that was really a fuel gauge
Here's the idea. When your blood sugar crashes, your brain panics. It reads the drop as a threat and sends out adrenaline and cortisol, the same stress hormones that get you ready to run or fight.
You're suddenly in fight or flight, and nobody told you why. Your sensory tolerance drops to zero. The red mist comes down.
Looking back, I can match some of the biggest, most explosive moments of my life, the ones that left me ashamed, to times my blood sugar had been all over the place. I wasn't failing to cope. My brain was starving and sounding the alarm.
I'm not saying every meltdown is a blood sugar problem. Sensory overload is real and it's enough on its own. I'm saying it's worth knowing which one you're dealing with, because they need different things.
Five questions to ask afterwards
Not during. During, you're just trying to survive. Afterwards, when you're soft again, you can be curious.
When did I last eat, and what was it? A big gap, or a sugary or beige meal an hour or two before, is a clue.
Was I already shaky, snappy or foggy before anything happened? A crash often shows up as irritability first, and the thing that sets you off is just the last straw.
How loud was my day? A packed day of noise, people and screens points more towards sensory overload.
Did eating something help, even a bit, within twenty minutes? If you felt calmer after, that's worth noticing.
Where am I in my cycle, or in my perimenopause? Our margins move around, and it's not weakness.
There's no scoring. You're collecting information, not a verdict.
Why this matters more than it sounds
Shame is the usual response. We tell ourselves we're too much. We promise to be better.
And all the while, there might have been a very practical thing going on: we hadn't eaten properly, and our brain was running on empty.
If you can swap "what's wrong with me" for "what was my body asking for", you're already doing something most advice never teaches. You don't have to fix everything. You just have to start noticing.
If the pattern is strong, bring your notes to someone who can test your blood sugar properly.
If this one landed, you might also like Why You're Exhausted After Eating Carbs and Beyond Brain Fog: The Hidden Signs of Insulin Resistance in Neurodivergent Women.
I hope you have a gentle week,
Love Hannah xoxo
