13 Unconventional Signs of Success for Neurodivergent Women
Dear Neurodivergent Entrepreneur,
Last night, as I tossed and turned in the sweltering Thai heat, a thought formed in my mind: ‘I'm taking the day off tomorrow.’
My calendar was free of client commitments, and while my to-do list loomed long as always, I knew deep down that I needed a break.
I've been caught in the throes of an intense hyperfocus spell for days, feverishly planning and building new things for the future. As a neurodiverse woman, you’ll know all too well the addictive allure of this state.
It's a double-edged sword - the heightened productivity feels amazing, but the crash that follows? Not so much.
That's why I've learned to set boundaries, so I don’t head into the dreaded burnout zone. (I wrote all about the gift of strategic hyperfocus here if you want to dive deeper.)
So, I've been diligently implementing all the self-care strategies I preach. Regular breaks, exercise between tasks, nourishing meals etc. But even with all these good habits in place, there comes a point where you just need to step away from the screen and reconnect with the world beyond your desk.
And that's exactly what I did. I silenced the voice in my head that whispered, ‘Think of all the things you could accomplish today!’ and instead, I listened to the wiser voice that said, ‘Enough's enough. Get over yourself and get outside.’
As much as I love my work, my wellbeing must come first. And sometimes, that means prioritising play over productivity. It means giving myself permission to bask in the sun, explore new sights and sounds, and just be present in the moment without any agenda.
So, I woke up at the crack of dawn, filled with a sense of adventure. I grabbed my trusty hiking essentials - plenty of water, mosquito repellent, and my mum's beloved green hiking stick - and set off into the mountains. An hour into my trek, I stumbled upon a scene straight out of a fairy tale: an ancient Buddhist temple nestled deep in the jungle, complete with a cascading waterfall.
Have you considered: What does success look like to you?
For me, being able to take a day off when I need or want to, with no consequences is a HUGE success.
Success for ND women isn't about being rich and famous.
It's not about driving a Bentley or having a corner office with a jazzy view. For us, the stakes are so much higher.
In a world designed for neurotypical minds, simply existing as our authentic ND selves can feel like an uphill battle.
We're constantly bombarded with messages telling us to mask, conform, and contort ourselves. It's exhausting, soul-crushing, and can take a serious toll on our mental and physical health.
The pressures to ‘fit in’ can be so intense that many ND women end up pushing themselves to the brink, often developing chronic health conditions (like me!) as a result.
Anxiety, depression, autoimmune disorders - these are just some of the ways our bodies and minds cry out for relief from the relentless demands of a neurotypical world.
But what if we dared to imagine a different kind of success? One that prioritises our wellbeing. What if, instead of trying to squeeze ourselves into boxes that were never meant for us, we focused on creating lives and careers that accommodate our needs?
For me, success looks like:
1. Waking up in my own time without an alarm clock, honouring my body's natural rhythms and need for rest.
2. Having enough time in my day to walk a long way (if I want to), clearing my mind and connecting with nature.
3. Having enough money in the bank to pay people to help me, delegating tasks that drain me so I can focus on what lights me up.
4. Running a business which allows me to take time off whenever I need to, prioritising my wellbeing without fear of consequence.
5. Building a business which doesn't require me to keep giving it my energy for it to attract new clients, allowing for sustainability and balance.
6. Having enough money in the bank to pay for therapists, healers, and bodyworkers, investing in my physical and emotional health.
7. Having enough money in the bank to pay for my continual personal and professional development, staying curious and committed to growth.
8. Having no need to engage in the neurotypical world if my resilience is low, honouring my need for self-protection and rest.
But beyond these tangible markers, success is also about:
9. Surrounding myself with a community of other ND women who celebrate me for who I am.
10. Having a creative outlet (my writing) that allows me to express myself freely.
11. Building a life that aligns with my deepest values and beliefs, without compromising my integrity or authenticity.
12. Developing a deep sense of self-trust and intuition, knowing I have the wisdom and resilience to navigate challenges on my terms.
13. Feeling a sense of purpose and meaning in my life, using my experiences to make a positive impact in my own unique way.
It's about reclaiming our right to take up space in a society that constantly tries to shrink us. It's about rejecting the notion that we need to be ‘fixed’ and embracing the beauty and power of our neurodivergent minds.
I invite you to reflect on your own definition of success.
What does a life well-lived look like for you?
What do you need to thrive as your authentic self?
Remember, success is deeply personal and it can evolve over time. What matters most is that you're honouring your own path - one that allows you to show up fully and find joy in the journey.
If you missed it, last week I wrote about how ND women can overcome our limiting beliefs and stop accepting breadcrumbs.
With love and solidarity,
Hannah xoxo
P.S Here's to embracing the art of the strategic ditch day and honouring our needs. Trust me, your mind (and your soul) will thank you.
